Embracing Motherhood One Photo at a Time

I wanted to start a photo focused blog this new year as a way to force myself to take photos each day, to learn more about photography, to do something for myself, and to gain a little insight or perspective while embracing the everyday tasks of motherhood.

It is now the end of March.

Then, the other day I found myself in the middle of my "newborn Mommy breaking point" (as another mom friend calls it). This is that phase after the "Look-at-me-doing-SOO-well-despite-the-sleep-deprivation/colic/baby-gassiness!-Wow-I've-got-this-Mommy-thing-down" phase. This is the phase where any newborn Mommy bliss seems to almost completely disappear. Now Mommy just feels exhaustion, inability to get anything done with baby on Mommy all the time, toddler wanting more attention than Mommy physically or mentally has, and a house that keeps getting messier and messier (yet still standing...not burnt down...which is truly all Mommy can seem to manage at this point). This was me hitting the wall.

So, what did I do in that emotional place?

I took photos. I took photos of the mess. Didn't clean the mess. Didn't pick up 6 week old who was crying somewhere in the middle of the mess. Didn't answer toddler who was saying whining screaming, "mommmmmyyyy" over and over again while actively contributing to the mess. Instead, I took photos.

                                                ONE of the many piles around the house. I decided
                                                                to spare myself any photo memories of the kitchen.


I don't know why I took photos of the mess. I even tried to attach the perspective that someday I'll miss this. Someday when the kids are grown, I'll miss the house being this messy, and long for that time in my life again. (I refuse to think any more into that idea now). Did I feel better? Not at all. It is a good perspective, but, as with most of those feel good perspectives, it just didn't seem to help in the middle of the mess.

I was quickly reminded of one reason I thought to start this blog in the first place; a tool used to step back, do something for myself, and MAYBE gain some insight or perspective in my life as a stay-at-home-mom. Although I can't say I gained any real perspective through the photos that day, I can say that taking them forced me to step back, take a deep breath, live in the present, and laugh at myself a little.

Then, I put down my phone (didn't even have the energy to grab the nice camera for this moment), cuddled my baby, talked sweetly to his big brother, and moved on with my day. One. Step. At. A. Time.