Lately I have found myself falling into darkness. This darkness is where I compare myself and my parenting methods to other mothers who seem to have it all together. Yes, I know they probably don't actually have it all together (who really does anyway?), and I know they may have similar struggles (and maybe some struggles I can't even fathom). Yet here I am. In the dark. Questioning everything I am doing, which usually leads to thinking I am doing everything wrong, which causes me to compare even more in a quest to find the "best" method and to be the "best" mom I can be. I continue down this spiral. This is the worst place for a mom to be because it robs her from seeing the wonderful mother she truly is, and it prevents her from seeing her wonderful children for who they really are.
Today, to break this spiral and find some of my confidence, I decided to fully look at my children, putting all parenting methods, ideas, and perceptions completely aside.
Happy, peacefully sleeping, calm, growing, healthy infant. I must be doing something right! Look at that peaceful face!
Very happy, smiley, healthy, loving, active, polite, confident, independent big boy. I must be doing something right! Look at the happiness in those eyes!
It is easy to see that I am doing things just fine when I step back and REALLY look at these kids. Happy, healthy, growing, loving boys. This is all that truly matters. There it is. The light. The truth.
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