Lesson in New Life

Bryce has asked us to read an Easter book at night over and over again about Jesus's gift of New Life. In the book the kids are going on an Easter Egg hunt and they comment on a Robin's nest filled with 4 eggs which means baby Robins will be here any day. He was always SO excited about that part.

Then, yesterday I found a nest on the beam just under our second level deck. It had 3 eggs yesterday and a 4th egg today. Actually, it had 2 eggs yesterday when I saw it, but we found one more on the ground. We put the 3rd egg back in the nest. I learned from some of the information I read today that Momma more than likely tossed that one because it was infertile or something else was wrong. Oops. I hope that doesn't affect the other 3 in there! After looking up some more information, I found that Momma will probably only lay 4 eggs (sometimes 5) and now she will start the incubation period of about 12-14 days. She will only leave the eggs for about 5-10 minutes at a time. (I did learn about this process at one point, but it was YEARS ago!)

Of course I have noticed Momma bird close by watching me each time I go out on the deck today. Every time I went out on the deck she flew from the nest to that same branch and watched me until I went back inside. This worries me because if she needs to be sitting on those eggs constantly for the next couple of weeks, I don't want my presence on the deck to disturb her. I'm really hoping she gets used to us walking around on the deck...

So, seriously, I'm very worried about this. I am a complete worrier anyway, but I really want these little robins to make it! We are out on our deck all the time, and Bryce is always playing out back. I am wondering if I can/should keep us all off of the deck for this month, yet we LOVE it out there. I will do what I can to leave the nest and that area of the deck undisturbed, but I'm hoping that Momma bird will want to stay and take care of them and we can all coexist without any issues. The other problem is after they hatch and decide to leave the nest. Then I need to keep them safe from both the dog and the 3 year old after they hatch and leave the nest, yet before they take sustained flight.

This is super exciting for me because I've never actually been able to see the process up close (it's the little things in life right?). I will try to take photos of each phase (from my phone because I can't get a good enough shot through the boards with my Canon...although I may try to experiment a bit more with that).

Let the journey begin!

Brothers

The more photos I post of the boys, the more people tell me they look alike. This is funny to me because when they first handed me Baby N, I thought he looked NOTHING like his big brother. I never have thought they look much alike. I guess to me, Nathan just looks like...well...Nathan. The comments from others made me very curious so I put together some comparison photos of each boy at the same age (luckily, I've taken a thousand photos of each and this was pretty easy to do). I can point out some differences, but after putting the photos side by side, I give in...they really do look alike.

What do you think???

Big Brother  |  Little Brother

1 Month Old

2 Months Old

3 Months Old

3 Months Old

3 1/2 Months Old

And one more... (this one convinced me more than the others)

About 2 Months

There will be no denying they are brothers. I am now very excited to see if Baby N will grow more and more like his big brother, or if his appearance and personality will start to look very different. 

It is definitely fun watching these two grow up!

Whatever Works #1

As a mom, I have heard and repeated many times the phrase, "Eh, whatever works!" This is my first post with a "whatever works" moment. I am hoping to post many more of these, because these moments do seem to come up often. 

I have had days with both kids where nothing seems to work. They won't sleep, they won't listen, I can't get anything done, and nothing goes the way I need it too. Then (usually by chance), I will come across something that does work. It is usually something pretty random. For example, I found that running water was the best soothing sound for Baby N when I thought he was hungry for more milk than I could supply, so I started the warm water to heat up pumped milk. Within 10 seconds, that screaming baby in my arms was fast asleep! 

Sometimes, the things you least expect (or the things you aren't supposed to do) are the things that end up actually working to achieve at least a little sanity or peace in the day. 

Today's post comes on a day when my 3 year old has tested my every ounce of patience, and my 3 month old has been fussy and decided naps really aren't necessary. With the mood these two are in today, it's no surprise this "whatever works" post is showing the ONLY way I've been able to get my baby to sleep today; the ONLY way I've been able to get even a minute of quiet time.

Today Baby N would only nap swaddled, in the carseat, rocking, on the deck (which apparently added a little extra jiggle to the rocking necessary for him to fall asleep)....

Awww, finally some peace... with the added bonus of wonderful fresh air! 

Whatever Works

 

A Mind of his Own

I am not sure why I need reminders to put myself in my child's mind before assuming anything. I am a parent. I love my children. This comes naturally right???

The sample from the MOPS craft for the 2-3 year olds yesterday:

 Bryce's finished craft:

Although I know he is only 3 and crafts are NEVER like the sample, which I also know is absolutely fine, I still found myself start to wonder if he didn't understand where the animal stickers should go, if he's having a hard time following simple directions, or if he truly couldn't care less where those stickers went and just wanted to go play instead. (Seriously, after typing this paragraph, I'm reminded of something else: I really need to stop over-thinking things.) So, I asked a simple question.

Mommy: "This is a cool craft you made."

Bryce: "Yep, I made that!" (He's very proud of himself these days which I really do love.)

Mommy: "Why did you decide to put all the animals on the rainbow?" (thinking he would just shrug and say "because I wanted to" or not answer at all.) 

Bryce: "Because they are all sliding down the rainbow. It's fun!"

Mommy: "Ohhh..."

Sure enough, look at the angle of most of the animals. It is clear they are sliding down the rainbow. He wasn't being random. He had a plan.

And here I assumed he didn't care and was just slapping the stickers on the paper without putting much thought into it....

Ok, so this craft wasn't a big deal and it truly wouldn't have mattered if he put thought into it or not, but it was a reminder for me to not jump to conclusions, get mad at him, or assume he's doing something "wrong" when he's actually just thinking differently than I am. Kids really do have a pretty awesome thought process and I am seriously amazed when I hear about his thinking and ideas. Why does it seem as parents we often think a child, even at 3, needs to be thinking the same way as the adult or doing things exactly the way we say to do them?! (please tell me I am not the only one who falls into that mindset at least some of the time!)

But, this reminds me of another situation:

We came home from MOPS and I asked Bryce to hold the door open for me because my hands were full. He ran in and let the door close on me. I opened the door and struggled to get in, very irritated that he wasn't doing what I had asked him to do. I let the door latch behind me which made him VERY angry. I didn't understand why he was crying and he was too worked up to tell me what happened. Finally, he pointed at the door and said "open", then pointed to the playroom and said "wedge". Apparently he WAS doing what I had asked after all. He wasn't playing in his playroom, but was instead looking for a wedge to put under the door to keep it open for Mommy. Good idea. Not what I was thinking when I asked him to please hold the door for Mommy, but good thinking. Thankfully, I held back my frustration and listened to him in that moment. 

I admit, I am not always good at keeping assumptions out of the situation, holding my temper, and listening to what is really going on in his little mind. I have very often jumped to the conclusion that he just isn't listening and maybe even being naughty. Then, after my overreaction, when my anger is all out in the open, and when I find out what really bothered him, I'm left apologizing and feeling like an idiot, laying awake at night, praying for grace. I am sure that never happens to any other parent right?

I hope I can always remember to encourage him to think through other ideas, even when it is different from how I think it should be.

Today I am embracing the amazing ways kids think, and the times I'm able to remember to put myself in his mindset before jumping to my own conclusions. 

Finding the Time

I have heard numerous times how very important it is for a mother to pursue her own interests, but seriously, where is the time a mom needs to do that?? She can totally make it happen. It may just look a bit different after kids....

Pursuing my interest WITH my child when I don't have enough time to do it on my own!

Mommy's View

______________________________

Bryce's View

Following Mommy's Lead

Bryce's favorite subject for his photography is Baby Nathan.

Mommy followed HIS lead on these. We both took photos of whatever he wanted.

Although I absolutely still need my own time, working on photography with my 3 year old was pretty fun! If I can't get out to do it on my own, at least I can still take some shots to work on photography while at home with my kids. 

I now wonder what interests and hobbies Bryce will pursue as he gets older...  

Mother of Two

New life situations never seem to sink in right away.

Then, one day, something so simple will make that change a reality; make it really stick. Right then it hits you. A moment stops you in your tracks and makes everything feel so real. A"Wow, I really made it!", "I actually did it!", "I'm really here!", "This really happened!", "I am really doing this!", "Oh my...." "Wow!" kind of moment.

This happened on Easter morning when I put together the boys' Easter baskets. I put Bryce's together, and then made a little basket for our 2 month old's first Easter. When I was done, I put them side by side on the kitchen table. I took a step back to look at the baskets and all of a sudden it hit me. I made TWO baskets. There are TWO Easter baskets in front of me. I have TWO kids. I am the mother of TWO! 

There are quite a few other moments that could have sparked this step back realization: a sleepless newborn night, a busy toddler day, a routine trip to the grocery store with an infant carrier in one hand and toddler's hand in the other, two kids 3 years apart screaming at the same time, or any of the many opportunities I have had to practice multitasking these past 2 months. Instead it was sparked by something so simple: two Easter baskets side by side on my kitchen table. 

Wow! I am really doing it. I am the mother of two.

The Truth

Lately I have found myself falling into darkness. This darkness is where I compare myself and my parenting methods to other mothers who seem to have it all together. Yes, I know they probably don't actually have it all together (who really does anyway?), and I know they may have similar struggles (and maybe some struggles I can't even fathom). Yet here I am. In the dark. Questioning everything I am doing, which usually leads to thinking I am doing everything wrong, which causes me to compare even more in a quest to find the "best" method and to be the "best" mom I can be. I continue down this spiral. This is the worst place for a mom to be because it robs her from seeing the wonderful mother she truly is, and it prevents her from seeing her wonderful children for who they really are. 

Today, to break this spiral and find some of my confidence, I decided to fully look at my children, putting all parenting methods, ideas, and perceptions completely aside. 

Happy, peacefully sleeping, calm, growing, healthy infant. I must be doing something right! Look at that peaceful face!

 Very happy, smiley, healthy, loving, active, polite, confident, independent big boy. I must be doing something right! Look at the happiness in those eyes!

It is easy to see that I am doing things just fine when I step back and REALLY look at these kids.  Happy, healthy, growing, loving boys. This is all that truly matters. There it is. The light. The truth.